How To Win Friends And Influence People How To Win Friends And Influence People Full chapter Introduction   A practical work on interpersonal relations, this book takes an in-depth look at human nature and taps into the hidden weaknesses of humanity. Through reading this book, one can get to know more about themselves and make further self-improvements. This book became a worldwide bestseller immediately after its debut. It has been translated into almost every major language in the world within decades of its release. It’s hailed as the bible of social skills. In 2011, it was number 19 on Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential books.   Overview | Chapter 1 Hi, welcome to Bookey. Today we’ll unlock the book How to Win Friends and Influence People.   Many of us are familiar with or have even read this book. It has continued to gain popularity and receive acclaim from readers around the world. It has also been published in many editions. Data shows that this book has sold tens of millions of copies worldwide, a truly remarkable number in the history of publication. It provides people with guidelines for dealing with others, in addition to sharing many ideas about how to live a happy life. Numerous people have benefited from it. Ever since Carnegie revealed the secret to harmonious relationships to many people around the world, other books on the subject of interpersonal relationships have emerged. Due to his enormous influence, Carnegie has been praised as one of the greatest experts in self-help and interpersonal relationships.   It may be hard to imagine that, while Carnegie is now a revered mentor in the self-help industry, he used to suffer a lot from his inability to effectively deal with people. Carnegie was not born a genius of social skills. He learned from his own personal experiences and turned them into assets. Carnegie was born in the 1880s in a small town in Missouri. His family was poor, so he was always hungry and cold. Due to malnutrition, little Carnegie was rather skinny and short, making his ears, which were disproportionately big compared to his head, seemed even larger. Because of his big ears, little Carnegie was often teased by his classmates. One day, he got into a fight with a boy in his class. He said something very mean to the boy, who became so furious that he threatened to cut off Carnegie’s ears. Carnegie was terrified. In the next few days, he kept worrying about his ears being cut off. He was even too scared to fall asleep, fearing that his ears would be cut off in his dreams.   But this was not his only concern. When he was a kid, Carnegie would dwell on anxieties to the point of tears. He worried about so many absurd things, for example, being buried alive like a seed, getting killed by a lightning strike, or going to hell after dying. He also worried that no girl would ever want to marry him, or that he would be kidnapped by aliens.   Later on, Carnegie realized that most people’s worries were not necessary, because there was a 99% chance that they wouldn’t happen. After a long period of anxiety and lack of confidence when growing up, he attended the State Teachers’ College in Warrensburgh, Missouri. Here, he took an interest in debating, and became very fond of it. So, he attended debates and public speaking competitions frequently, painstakingly honing his speaking skills. He won the majority of contests in which he participated, and gained great confidence from giving speeches. Gradually, he realized that this could be his life-long career. Afterward, Carnegie started to give inspirational speeches around the world. He wrote many self-help books, like How to Win Friends and Influence People, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, and How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job. His courses teaching interpersonal skills started to be held around the world. A worried little boy with low self-esteem finally became the great mentor of self-help we know today.   The book we’re going to unlock today, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is Carnegie’s most influential work. Next, we’ll unlock it in three sections:   Part 1: Techniques for dealing with people   Part 2: Applying the techniques in social interactions   Part 3: From society to family.

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Never Split The Difference Never Split The Difference Full Chapter Brief   Negotiation is everywhere in your daily life: for example, asking your boss to raise your salary, persuading your children go to bed at 9 o’ clock, buying the things at the best price, and so on. All of these actions require communication between people. How do you achieve the desired outcome in a negotiation and convince the other party? In this book, Chris Voss outlines nine negotiation tips that you can apply to every situation in your life, and which will benefit you forever.   Overview | Chapter 1 Hi, welcome to Bookey. Today we will unlock the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.   This book will teach you how to take control in essential conversations in your daily life. Chris Voss is a former FBI negotiator, who often negotiated with kidnappers to free hostages. Once, kidnappers asked the family of a hostage to pay a ransom of $150,000. The family told Voss that they could pay between $50,000 to $85,000. However, Voss successfully managed to lower the price to $4,751, and the hostage was rescued safely. This is only one of the many successful mediations he took part in, over his twenty years of experience, on the basis of which he created a solid theory which can be applied not only to international crises but also to situations that concern our families, careers, intimate relationships, and even parenting.   Voss is also the founder of the Black Swan Group, a Fortune 500 company, and has taught and given lectures at Harvard and MIT. The co-author of this book, Tahl Raz, is also the co-author of the New York Times’ best-selling column, Never Eat Alone, and a content editorial consultant at a number of companies.   If you are a regular user of our platform, you may know that we have unlocked a lot of books on negotiation methods. One of them, Getting To Yes, regarded as having “an unrivaled place in the literature of dispute resolution” introduces the Principled Negotiation, a method researched by the Harvard Negotiation Project. So, is there a difference between Voss’ theory of negotiation and the one introduced in Getting To Yes? There is. The book states that the negotiating parties are “rational actors”, while Voss’s theoretical approach assumes that they are irrational instead. The theory comes from the work of Daniel Kahneman, an American psychologist, who believes that humans have two thought systems: a System 1, which consists of our innate skills that we share with other animals, fast, intuitive and emotional; and a System 2, which is slower, strenuous and rational. Kahneman’s theories have already been covered in our bookey about his work Thinking, Fast and Slow. When putting Kahneman’s theory and negotiations together, the first step is observe and analyze one’s System 1, their emotions, reactions, and feelings. Then, questions can be asked in order to influence their System 1 and receive the desired reaction, granting the initiative to control the other party. In general, this is a kind of negotiation based on emotional control.   We will look at the specific negotiation methods in three parts:   Part One: How to quickly establish a harmonious relationship with the other party at the beginning of the negotiation;   Part Two: How to persuade others to get the results wanted in a negotiation;   Part Three: How to find out unknown information and ensure implementation after negotiation.

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